Henry Cloud Quotes - Page 3

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.

A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.

One of the worst things you can die with is potential.

We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.

The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.

To grow, we need things that we do not have and cannot provide, and we need to have a source of those things who looks favorably upon us and who does things for us for our own good.

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

Dating is not only a wonderful time of life, but also a context for enormous spiritual and personal growth. You learn so much about yourself, others, God, love, spirituality, and life through dating. Done well, it can be fulfilling in and of itself. Done well, it can be one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of your life. Done well, it can lead to a good marriage.

God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption.

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.

When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.

We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.

Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.

Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.

Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.

When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children

He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional behavior and relationships

A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.

There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.

Being right can never compete with doing well.

Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.