Grief and memory go together. After someone dies, that's what you're left with. And the memories are so slippery yet so rich.
There is a drunkenness to grief, which is good.
My experience, with both my parents, is that grief has a lot of down, sad things, but I was also really emotionally raw, in the first year after each of them passed. Flowers smelled more intensely, my relationships were hotter, and I was more willing to risk. I was going for it a lot more. I was 'unsober' and I wasn't playing by my rules.
