Authors:

The inner boy in a messed-up family may keep on being shamed, invaded, disappointed, and paralyzed for years and years. "I am a victim," he says, over and over; and he is. But that very identification with victimhood keeps the soul house open and available for still more invasions. Most American men today do not have enough awakened or living warriors inside to defend their soul houses. And most people, men or women, do not know what genuine outward or inward warriors would look like, or feel like.

Robert Bly (2004). “Iron John: A Book about Men”, p.149, Da Capo Press
The inner boy in a messed-up family may keep on being shamed, invaded, disappointed, and paralyzed for years and years. I am a victim, he says, over and over; and he is. But that very identification with victimhood