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  5. I cant be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree Id...

I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.

Terry Pratchett
Talking, Tree, Sane
"The Light Fantastic (Discworld, Book 2)". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1986.
I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.