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  5. A friend doesnt go on a diet because you are fat. A friend...

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.

Erma Bombeck
Husband, Wife, Goes On
Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.135, Open Road Media
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.