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If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying.

Ichiro Suzuki
Lying, Cleveland, Faces
"Will Progressive Field renovations shrink Cleveland Indians' 2015 payroll? Hey, Hoynsie!" by Paul Hoynes, www.cleveland.com. November 20, 2014.
If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying.