It takes strength to be proud of yourself and to accept yourself when you know that you have something out of the ordinary about you.
A lot of people characterize women as more cautious. I don't think that's an inappropriate characterization, but that's not a natural thing we're born with, it's something that comes about.
Pregnancy takes a huge physical toll on your body. I have many friends who have had babies and many of them require medical help and attention, emergency Cesarean sections and forceps. If you think that people just have a kid and it's no big deal, that's not true. It's one of the most dangerous things for a woman to do. If you take away access to accessible medical women in America, you're going to bump up the death rate.
I started thinking about gender and how it's an arbitrary thing if you're born with an XX or XY chromosome, but it can determine your experience of the world. It's about whether you are physically intimidating vs. being physically intimidated. It determines whether you are the one to take an active role in sex and society.
I would say that it's very difficult to personally construct your gender. I think a lot of it is socially constructed. If you look at The New York Times' coverage of trans children, some of them were as young as four years old. One said, "I see my daddy in the woodshed, and that's where I'd rather be than in the kitchen." That to me doesn't ring as somebody who is trans, it rings as someone who has grown up with a narrow view.
Even though I grew up in an area of England that was more conservative than my personal politics and my family's personal politics, I grew up with a lot of guy friends. There was no real difference between us. When I moved to London, it really became apparent that gender was going to make a mark. I started experiencing sexual intimidation and aggression. People coming up to women on the streets and telling them how hot they are and what they wanted to do to them. For me, that was shocking coming from a village. I thought intersexuality was a great way of exploring that shock.
What you're born with dictates your life. Do you run home after dark? Do you choose an apartment in a questionable neighborhood? I dated a guy a few years ago in California, actually who was, as we say in England, "built like a brick shithouse." He was a lovely guy, but I thought, his arms are as big as my head, he could kill me. I don't think that men would predict the kinds of things that women think about when you are contemplating having a relationship.
I have a guy friend who said to me, "Hey, you know it's strange, feminism is cool now." I think now people understand that being a feminist means everyone should be equal. What really shocked me was being in America during the Republican primaries. I haven't been exposed to that kind of thinking. I was so shocked that that kind of thinking exists in a modern world, and in a first-world country.
