Aisha Tyler Quotes - Page 3

I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.

On general principle, I boycott shows that don't employ actors.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

I'm such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.

I like grown up comedy.

I really do know football.

I'm sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.

Marriage isn't a carnival ride.

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.

Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so.

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can't wait to get back. Can't wait to have some Timbits.

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery—much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.

I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.

But I love stand-up, and it's where I came from creatively, so it's something I never want to walk away from.

Comedy is ugly. It's honest, it's raw.

My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

You know, it's about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying - all these young books for women are like I'm 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can't get a date. Come on.

After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.'