For paranoia about 'what other people think' : remember that only some hate, a very few love - and almost all just don't care.
To one's enemies: "I hate myself more than you ever could.
It's very hard to respect people on holiday - everybody looks so silly at the beach, it makes you hate humanity - but when you see people at their work they elicit respect, whether it's a mechanic, a stonemason or an accountant.
Rather than saying 'I hate mess', it might draw more compassion to say, 'mess terrifies me as a harbinger of catastrophe'.
