I had all the characteristics of a human being—flesh, blood, skin, hair—but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that my normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning
I convinced myself I hadn't seen anything, ... I had done this many times before ... I was adept at erasing reality.
What keeps me interested--and it always does--is how can she be a bad actress on film but a good one in reality?