Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part.
My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.
I'm never home. I miss birthdays. I miss holidays. I miss anniversaries. I miss special moments. I'm not always there for important times, because I'm out on the road trying to make people laugh. I give up my privacy. I give up the ability to walk somewhere and relax.
That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.
I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I'm never home.
