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Gary Chapman Quotes - Page 5

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I think one of the myths is that people don't change. A lot of people believe that. Their spouse has been an alcoholic for the first 10 years of the marriage, and they say they are never going to change.

I think one of the myths is that people don't change. A lot of people believe that. Their spouse has been an alcoholic for the first 10 years of the marriage, and they say they are never going to change.

Gary Chapman
Believe, Thinking, Years
Source: www.crosswalk.com

Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic need in their life, the need for love, and they know they don't deserve love many times.

Gary Chapman
Deserve Love, Long, People
Source: www.crosswalk.com

Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going to have a better relationship, you admitting your part in the dynamics is a step in the road to healing. Because if they see you modeling apology, for example, and they see you modeling love, they may well get the idea that maybe they need to apologize.

Gary Chapman
Healing, Apology, Ideas
Source: www.crosswalk.com

I think one of the other myths is that your environment determines your happiness. That if you are living with an alcoholic or living with a depressed spouse for a long time, you are just going to be unhappy.

Gary Chapman
Thinking, Long, Unhappy
Source: www.crosswalk.com

If I walk in the house, and I greet my wife, and I give her a hug, kiss her on the cheek, and I say to her, "Honey, how'd your day go," and I listed to how her day went. If I say, "Is there anything I can do to help you," and she tells me, "Honey, if you could peel the potatoes," or whatever, I have influenced my wife in a very positive way.

Gary Chapman
Kissing, Giving, Wife
Source: www.crosswalk.com

This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.

Gary Chapman
Believe, Book, Agents
Source: www.crosswalk.com

Physically abusive and verbally abuse marriages are very, very difficult situations. I fully understand people in those kinds of marriages who think there is no hope. I also know that the advice that is given by most people is simply... get out of there as fast as you can.

Gary Chapman
Thinking, Difficult Situations, People
Source: www.crosswalk.com

The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.

Gary Chapman
May, Tender Love, Being True
Source: www.crosswalk.com

Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.

Gary Chapman
Eye, Views, Differences
Gary Chapman (2010). “Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married”, p.122, Moody Publishers

A child may be "spoiled" by a lack of training or by inappropriate love that gives or trains incorrectly.

Gary Chapman
Children, Giving, Training
Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell (2010). “The 5 Love Languages/The 5 Love Languages Men's Edition/The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers/The 5 Love Lan”, p.539, Moody Publishers

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