Gary L. Thomas Quotes

A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make.

I wouldn't be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can't tolerate in their spouse.

Couples don't fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.

If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.

What if your husband’s faults are God’s tools to shape you? What if the very thing that most bugs you about your man constitutes God’s plan to teach you something new? Are you willing to accept that your marriage makeover — the process of moving a man — might begin with you?

Parenting changed for me when I finally realized it's not about being a perfect parent trying to raise perfect kids, but rather, family life is a collection of sinners slowly growing together toward Jesus Christ as we rub shoulders, yield to his grace, ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness, and are shaped accordingly.

We bring nothing to God, and He gives us everything.

Our children may, at times, make parenting very difficult. Sometimes, we might be tempted to say, "Fine, I'm done with you!" But God is never done with them and we're still called to be their parents.

Ideally, as parents we'd have unlimited energy, the ability to manage tricky emotions like fear and anger, vast stores of wisdom to answer complicated but important questions, love that never grows tired, patience that never ends... Every parent would like to have all of these, but God alone possesses them fully. Parenting reminded me of what I lacked more than it ever made me feel equipped. But there's a spiritual purpose in that!

When God entrusts his children to us - for they're all ultimately his - he knows what we lack, he knows where we're weak, he knows how we tend to sin, yet still he places these children in our households and under our care.

Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism. But this immediately casts us into a countercultural pursuit.

A large part of parenting is about managing weariness and motivation. Much of the success of parenting is about avoiding the sins of "omission" as well as "commission." You can feed, clothe, and house your kids and not really parent them. When we raise kids for selfish reasons (to feel proud, to have people love us and appreciate us), if they disappoint us we'll pull back. But when we realize that God has called us to raise godly children and God is always worthy to be obeyed, we have a motivation that goes beyond our own pride and our own comfort.

A Christian is never dependent on the response of others to grow spiritually. It's our own heart's decisions that matter

More than we care about their "success," vocation, or financial status, our hearts will be encouraged when our kids are faithful followers of Christ, and our hearts will be distressed when our kids appear to reject the Christian faith. So, the most important thing is transferring our kids' allegiance from us to Christ, raising faithful disciples who seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

Christian love must be chased after, aspired to, and practiced.

A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.

Love your God and your family and you're making an eternal investment. Family life will continue in the New Heavens and the New Earth, but even the most amazing accomplishments on this earth will quickly fade. Genesis 5 teaches us to prioritize people over accomplishments.

The older I get the more I realize that a significant portion of a parent's happiness or sadness in middle-age will be directly impacted by how closely our children are walking with the Lord.

Done well, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience.

Having children made me confront my true fears and trust in God many times over in a much more intensified manner.

Fear is intensified by passionate love. The more I care about someone, the more I'm concerned about their welfare. The less we have to lose, in one sense, the easier it is to be "brave."

It's astonishing how quickly cultural references change. Each new generation of parents grows up with a new slate of cultural understanding, television shows, and unique parental issues. The biblical principles remain the same, however, so this was a slight reworking, not a major overhaul.