... when I hear people say that penmanship is dead, my response: it's about time.
When women negotiate they are often viewed as pushy, but if you think about the way women are viewed at large: we are nurturing, helpful, motherly. Those are all stereotypes, of course, but if you play into them you don't face the same penalties. I struggle with this because I hate the fact that because I am a woman, I am supposed to smile when I go into a negotiation. But it's been shown to work. I shouldn't have to smile, but if doing so means that I am going to get the money and rise in power, then I see it as a necessary evil. Once we're in power, we can have resting b*tch face all day.
Don't compromise quickly. Women are more likely to automatically take the first offer on the table because we're more likely to feel "lucky" to be employed at all. But remember, negotiation isn't necessarily one round: you can come back with other asks, even if those things aren't money.
Perhaps women are lied to more often because managers think they're not going to push back. If you're told, "We don't have the budget right now" and have no access to the budget to prove otherwise, there's not much you can do, but there's no reason why you can't ask if you can reassess in six months. Then, spend those six months chronicling every good thing you do so you return with a stack of data that proves you need that raise.
Relate your ask to the group at large by using "we" instead of "I." So I might say, "We grew our traffic by X percent this quarter and it was awesome; I brought in X percent of that." It also helps when women make it about collaboration: This is not a battle - you want to work together with the other person to get to a place you are both happy with - so remind them you're trying to come to a mutually beneficial agreement.
One analysis found that every dollar in the opening offer translates to about 50 cents more in the final agreement. So put the first offer on the table and aim high. A friend of mine says, "You should ask for the highest number you can utter without bursting out laughing." Do your research - I talk to people in my industry so I have goal in mind. Women low ball themselves, so if you think you are going way higher than you should, tell yourself that's probably what a man in your position would be asking for.
