It was only as I wrote about fear that I began to find paths of access to feelings that were intolerable to me then.
I never have been a musician; I'm not actually capable. Because I can't even pretend to acquire the gift, all of my first feelings about art are still attached to music. I look at it yearningly, I look at it wonderingly. I behold it from afar, as something unattainable, something outside of myself, from which I can take nourishment, but I can't domesticate and master.
I hate feeling too complacent when I write. I like to be solving new problems.
