I was marrying someone I loved because I didn't want to lose them; I didn't see anything wrong with that.
I used the marriage as a filter. If the guy was conservative, didn't believe in gender-neutral marriage or thought what I did was wrong, then I immediately knew they weren't for me. That was actually very helpful.
Neither of youIn the couple have to change in order to be with the other. Whether that's having sex with other people or monogamy. The main thing is not having to reconcile your different lives like cutting your hair, changing the way you dress, who you are. The marriage with the guy I was sleeping with was asking me to be someone who wasn't me.