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Lundy Bancroft Quotes

Abusers thrive on creating confusion, including confusion about the abuse itself.

Lundy Bancroft (2003). “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, p.48, Penguin

Abuse counselors say of the abusive client: “When he looks at himself in the morning and sees his dirty face, he sets about washing the mirror.

Lundy Bancroft (2003). “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, p.126, Penguin

Abuse and respect are diametric opposites: You do not respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you respect.

Lundy Bancroft (2003). “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, p.64, Penguin

Never believe a man's claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way.

Lundy Bancroft (2003). “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, p.54, Penguin

Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.

Lundy Bancroft (2003). “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, p.128, Penguin

If we want abusers to change, we will have to require them to give up the luxury of exploitation.

Lundy Bancroft (2003). “Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, p.157, Penguin