It wasn't so much that I was afraid of the place itself, but I was afraid of the creatures who masqueraded as people.
My talent was the uncompromising ability to feel spite.
In order to induce the process of decay, water is necessary. I think that, in the case of women, men are the water.
A woman who does not know herself has no choice other than to live with other people’s evaluations. But no one can adapt perfectly to public opinion. And herein lies the source of their destruction.
I'm this superphilosophical kind of person. Stuck in a prison of abstract ideas and overpowering emotions, I have this personality that makes it really hard to survive.
I suppose I’m the one responsible for destroying myself.
Let's face it: the world is twisted. And rotten.
Friends are a weird thing. It seems like they know all about you, but then they don’t understand you at all.
If people can't stand being alone, they have no choice but to die
When stones lying warm in the sun were turned over, they exposed the cold, damp earth underneath; and that was where Masako had burrowed deep. There was no trace of warmth in this dark earth, yet for a bug curled up tight in it, it was a peaceful and familiar world.
For a girl, appearance can be a powerful form of oppression. No matter how intelligent a girl may be, no matter her many talents, these attributes are not easily discerned. Brains and talent will never stand up against a girl who is clearly physically attractive.
I was in a self-induced depression. Welcome to me Real World.
A women who does not know herself has no choice other than to live with other people's evaluations.
In reality of everyday occurrences I've had to submit to people in order not to lose them. It's less the submission that bothers me, I guess, than how it makes my life miserable. And what happens if I can't forgive myself for making that choice? And what if, in order to keep on living, I have to continue to accept myself? What am I supposed to do? Conclusion: It'd be best if I'm destroyed. The best thing is for me just to vanish.
Fortunately for me, I ran across some girls I could get along with so I could enjoy high school life okay, but it must be awful for kids who don't get along with anybody. We're different from our parents, a completely different species from our teachers. And kids who are one grade apart you are in a different world altogether. In other words, we're basically surrounded by enemies and have to make it on our own.
And what if, in order to keep on living, I have to continue to accept myself?
Kids lose their trust in the parents they love, but still accept them, so they end up not trusting themselves anymore.
[..] and there are tons of people I hate so much that I wouldn't mind taking them out. But killing them wouldn't get me anywhere - that's the conclusion I always come to. If I'm going to pay for it in the end, I might as well let them live.
I’m still afraid of being totally honest. I’m more afraid of this than dying.
I was frightened by the optimism of adults, their stupid trust in science to treat a troubled heart. Afraid of their obsession with believing they have to treat troubled kids. I just wanted them to leave me alone, so how come they didn't get it? But that's the way it always is.
I decided then and there I was never going to have kids.
