Richard Armour Quotes - Page 2

How I love to get a letter! I can think of nothing better Than perusing an epistolary item. But deep is my despondence, For I've found that correspondence Means that if you want to get 'em, You must write 'em!

In larger things we are convivial; what causes trouble is the trivial.

Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so much attention that a husband and wife, concentrating on their children, fail to notice each other's faults.

Rather than earn money, it was Thoreau's idea to reduce his wants so that he would not need to buy anything. As he went around preaching this ingenious idea, the shopkeepers of Concord hoped he would drop dead.

I miss my mattress when I am gone; It's one thing I've made an impression on.

[Beowolf] is considered an epic because of its long speeches, its digressions, its repetition, and its being required.

If only I kept my eye on the ball, Looking downward as does the pro there, I might not see where it was going, at all, But there might be a chance it would go there.

Some golfers blast their ball from traps, With one adroit explosion, But others, out in ten perhaps, Depend upon erosion.

There is no balm of Gilead, No salve, no soothing ointment To stay the pain of one who's had In love a disappointment-- Unless it be that healing lotion Of fixing on a new devotion.

Adolescence isn't a period; it's a coma.

G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.

(Francis) Bacon's best known writings are his essays. They are loved for many reasons, such as their being so short.

Although practice swings Can be helpful things, Twere better, indeed, not take any Than to fiddle and fret And before playing get Exhausted from taking too many.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" People ask. I say, "Yes," for I'm curious. So they give me their honest opinion, And I - well, I'm always furious.

Middle age is the time of life that a man first notices in his wife.

They head the list of bad to bet on: But I insist they're worse to get on

[John Foster Dulles] invented Brinkmanship, the most popular game since Monopoly.

I've suffered from all of the hang-ups known, and none is as bad as the telephone.

My day-old son is plenty scrawny, his mouth is wide with screams, or yawny; His ears seem larger than he's needing, His nose is flat, his chin's receding. His skin is very, very red, He has no hair upon his head, And yet I'm proud as proud can be, To hear you say he looks like me.

There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.

In such novels as This Side of Paradise and The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald depicts the spirit of the hour which is usually about 4 a.m. His suave young men, always commuting between Princeton and The Plaza in Stutz Bearcats never sat still for long. It was too uncomfortable, with a large flask in the hip pocket.

This golfer has a wicked slice. And quite a follow-through. That's why his partner, who stood too close, Is on the green in two.