All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony. Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace.
Make peace with the universe. Take joy in it. It will turn to gold. Resurrection will be now. Every moment, a new beauty.
There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye.
Dance where you can break yourself up to pieces and totally abandon your worldly passions.