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Stephen Grosz Quotes

It is less painful, it turns out, to feel betrayed than to feel forgotten.

It is less painful, it turns out, to feel betrayed than to feel forgotten.

Stephen Grosz
Betrayed, Forgotten, Painful
Stephen Grosz (2014). “The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves”, p.83, W. W. Norton & Company

Closure is just as delusive-it is the false hope that we can deaden our living grief.

Stephen Grosz
Grief, Closure, False Hope
Stephen Grosz (2014). “The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves”, p.210, W. W. Norton & Company

Being present, whether with children, with friends, or even with oneself, is hard work. But isn't this attentiveness - the feeling that someone is trying to think about us - something we want more than praise?

Stephen Grosz
Children, Hard Work, Thinking
Stephen Grosz (2014). “The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves”, p.22, W. W. Norton & Company

When we cannot find a way of telling our story, our story tells us-we dream these stories, we develop symptoms, or we find ourselves acting in ways we don’t understand.

Stephen Grosz
Dream, Acting, Stories
Stephen Grosz (2014). “The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves”, p.10, W. W. Norton & Company

I want to change, but not if it means changing.

Stephen Grosz
Mean, Want, Ifs
Stephen Grosz (2014). “The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves”, p.10, W. W. Norton & Company

Psychoanalysts are fond of pointing out that the past is alive in the present. But the future is alive in the present too. The future is not some place we’re going to, but an idea in our mind now. It is something we’re creating, that in turn creates us. The future is a fantasy that shapes our present.

Stephen Grosz
Past, Ideas, Creating
Stephen Grosz (2014). “The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves”, p.157, W. W. Norton & Company

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