I probably protect myself by not asking myself too much.
I've got a twin sister who's an artist and growing up I was always "the loud one." She's not actually quiet at all, but I would rather fill a gap with chatter and she would just let a gap be. So there was no inclination to actually perform.
Being on the same level as everybody is really important to me. I'm trying to do really basic stuff like communicate, convey, talk, see, and invite joining and intimacy. What I'm trying to do is attach. It's not about being separate.
Sometimes I start with music on and then I get distracted because I'm working to a different rhythm; I'm not working to myself. So, I don't have music on when I'm working.
I like actual songs and bands, but it's usually parts, like the production, the bassline, the drums, that I'm really attracted to.
I've thought about bands or performers who appear from nowhere: You come out of the greenroom in this secure little unit, then you do this thing and you're shielded from everybody. I'm thinking of brilliant people, like Mariah Carey, who have no interaction. They interact with the audience at the time of the live thing but there's no build up and there's no afterward.
For me, there's the certain focus points that come out, which could reference a song or a pop disco, or something really abstract. It's not totally fulfilling or complete, but rather an ongoing incompleteness. I'm really interested in the audience's relationship with myself, and my relationship with them.
I'm interested in really particular details, ideas, thoughts, and emotions, yet it's defused with performance, where you can play with hiding things, or be more confrontational about something shielded. There is this process of layering in performance.
When I go into the editing process, I re-look at the original intuitive thoughts and then it becomes the written performance or text work. Because they look quite big there's this assumption that there isn't much editing, but that's a huge part of it.
I started using Notes [on my iPhone] but I do a lot of hand written notes. It's a very slow, accumulative thing.
The way I perform or the setup is always same - just me and a microphone and the text - and they usually have some relation of how physical that stack becomes. When I'm editing it together, the density of the papers is an indicator to be like, "You need to stop."
Performances have a bit of a life and a time scale to themselves.
I'm one who needs to be in the space [for] a sense of place and order. It's crucial.
I don't analyze too much, because then I'll question, 'Why do I write down all of these random little phrases?'
I'm not really interested in making someone endure a performance or stand there for too long. I like to think about the length.
