Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind.
If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.
If you don't like who you are and where you are, don't worry about it because you're not stuck either with who you are or where you are. You can grow. You can change. You can be more than you are.
You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations.
Are you a SNIOP? Someone who is Sensitive to the Negative Influence Of Others?
If you're sincere, praise is effective. If you're insincere, it's manipulative.