Football Quotes - Page 157

Football is one side of me. Art is another. Travel is another.

I didn't play football in school, but I've been a fan of football all my life. I have a fair understanding of it. Doing movies about it really helps because you know what makes them work and what doesn't.

Our target is to get into the play-offs. If not, we want automatic promotion.

Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.

Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?

I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference.

Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?

Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'

That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.

Big deal, so he scored. The last time I saw someone dance like that I had to pay her $20 and have my pants dry cleaned the next day.

The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!

The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.

I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.

Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

I played a little basketball, but basketball interfered with theater season. That's when we did our term plays and did nutshell versions of Shakespeare for English classes. And, believe me, I got a fair amount of looks from the guys on the team. 'You're in theater but you can play football?'

A message to the best football supporters in the world. We need a 12th man here. Where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you. Come on!

First, you've got to get the job. "Yeah, I can do it," I would say. When I was a kid, I could do anything. Lucky nobody ever asked me if I could fly a jet plane.

When it comes to your life's work, you can't take yourself too seriously. Even Jesus had an occasional joke with the boys, take walking on water, for instance - but there's a time and place for fun. Jesus never faltered when it came time to tip over the money stalls or to take his hard walk up the mountain.

If you feel like you want to die, it's time to sit down and make a list of all the things you haven't done yet.

The problem a guy who lies all the time faces is he never can tell when anybody else is telling the truth.

A nation that spends billions to fix international problems will not have much left over for the victims of tornadoes in Oklahoma.