Golf Quotes - Page 18

I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core, it's what I do. But I want to be a pro golfer. It's a love/hate relationship with golf. I can come away feeling so serene, and yet, it's the thing that I can let get to me to throw a club and say curses that don't even exist. I'm obsessed with something that won't let me master it. I don't know. I need therapy.

The winner of this tournament doesn't just win a major. He become a part of the history of the game.

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

The course is perfection and it asks perfection.

Anybody who plays golf will tell you that you play against yourself.

Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story

I don't know why that putt hung on the edge. I'm a clean liver. It must be my caddie.

The older you get, the easier it is to shoot your age.

I've never set up any golf course that would favor anybody. I try to make it exactly the opposite, which is what we did at Valhalla when we modernized it to accommodate the lengths players are hitting it today.

Scoring comes from being able to preserve what you've got and play your smart shots when you need to play them and not do stupid things and take advantage of things when have you them.

Nobody - but nobody - has ever become really proficient at golf without practice, without doing a lot of thinking and then hitting a lot of shots. It isn't so much a lack of talent; it's a lack of being able to repeat good shots consistently that frustrates most players. And the only answer to that is practice.

Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than dirt.

Perhaps the most important thing I can tell you about equipment is to experiment and keep an open mind.

Golfers should not fail to realize that it is a game of great traditions, of high ideals of sportsmanship, one in which a strict adherence to the rules is essential.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

Just trust your instincts. There's an old saying in golf, you've studied the swing many times, and you practice and practice, but when you stand over the ball, you just have to trust your swing. And you trust it. And if you don't trust it, you'll ruin it; your brain will take over.

Golf is recognized as one of the more difficult games to play or teach. One reason for this is that each person necessarily plays by feel, and a feel is almost impossible to describe.

Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

If you can see it, you can hit it and if you can hit it, you can hole it.

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.

Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter.

A golfer should never make a mental mistake because the ball is just sitting there waiting for you to hit it.