Sven-Göran Eriksson, confronted with arguably Europe's weakest qualifying group, has a problem; it is the same one that afflicted Jacques Santini, the France coach at the time, before Euro 2004. Not that there are no easy matches at international level; rather, there are no hard ones. In qualifying for the 2004 European Championship finals, France faced a group not of death, but of sun-block, comprising Slovenia, Israel, Cyprus and Malta, which they duly won by ten points, averaging 3.6 goals per game. We all know what happened next.
Greece won the 2004 European Championship with the oldest trick in the book: man-for-man marking. Why? Because nobody expected it - and by the time they knew what Otto Rehhagel's team were about, it was too late. Great football is like great comedy in that way. It is all in the timing.
Just when you feel like hauling him off and strangling hin, he gets some goal out of nowhere.
My youth coach told me he'd got these two great 15-year-olds. I told him I don't want to know, because by the time they're 18 I'll be dead.
You're not a real manager unless you've been sacked.
Offside killed my team. They are not God. They made a mistake and I understand. I don't want three points, I just want 'sorry.'
I am in a lot of pain. They say it is more pain than when you have a baby but I don't know as I have not had one. It is not possible.
We are at a good level. Our secret is that we play the same way against each opponent.
There is something to be said for waking up every morning and seeing the sun.
I've never met anybody who says they don't like the World Cup. If you're a soccer fan or not, everybody loves watching it, and I think it could be the same for other sports.
Soccer is my first love. Ive been playing since I was 4 years old. I traveled the world doing it. I broke my leg when I was 16 or 17, and acting kind of filled the void.
The linesman flagged initially because he thought I was an Oldham player. Fair enough, I did have a replica shirt on - but I also have a big furry head.
I didn't realise you could travel so far and still be in England.
Unfortunately much of it is frittered away on fast cars, designer clothes and an attitude to pleasure reminiscent of the 18-30 holiday packages.
When I take my kids to the zoo in Los Angeles, they always look the longest at the creature that moves the least - especially those in the reptile house. I asked myself: 'Who are the people that are pretty cool but also very still and monotone in their expression?' and I thought of Jose Mourinho.
A normal adolescent is so restless and twitchy and awkward that he can mange to injure his knee--not playing soccer, not playing football--but by falling off his chair in the middle of French class.
We are on top at the moment, but not because of the club's financial power. We are in contention for a lot of trophies because of my hard work.
Drogba is a fighter. He is the kind of player I would say 'With you I could go to every war.'
It is like when you go to war: we have to know how our enemies attack and defend.
So I know all about the ups and downs of football, I know that one day I will be sacked.
We all want to play great music all the time, but if that is not possible, you have to hit as many right notes as you can.
They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
The longer Jose Mourinho goes on, and on, and on, the more difficult it is for me not to despise him and the set of values he's bringing to football.
The goals made such a difference to the way this game went
Such a positive move by Uruguay - bringing 2 players off and putting 2 players on.
