Jon Stewart Quotes

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance

It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.

Evil is relatively rare. Ignorance is epidemic.

The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.

When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

In whose delusional mind is democracy made 'better' by allowing wealthy people to control more of it?

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.

Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.

It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found.

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.

Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.

Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.

Oh press - must you spread hate? Can't you just stick to being wrong?

Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.

Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance.