Albert Ellis Quotes - Page 3

People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has.

Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it's conditional.

Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.

In a sense, the religious person must have no real views of his own and it is presumptuous of him, in fact, to have any. In regard to sex-love affairs, to marriage and family relations, to business, to politics, and to virtually everything else that is important in his life, he must try to discover what his god and his clergy would like him to do; and he must primarily do their bidding.

We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming - or damning.

The emotionally sound person should be able to take risks, to ask himself what he really would like to do in life, and then to try to do this, even though he has to risk defeat or failure. He should be adventurous (though not necessarily foolhardy); be willing to try almost anything once, just to see how he likes it; and look forward to some breaks in his usual life routines.

We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.

The art of love is largely the art of persistence.

I thought foolishly that Freudian psychoanalysis was deeper and more intensive than other, more directive forms of therapy, so I was trained in it and practiced it. Then I found that it intensively went into every irrelevancy under the sun - and that it didn't work. People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.

Needing leads to bleeding - to almost all inevitable suffering.

We'd better work hard on getting rid of that must - Other people must do what I want them to do!" It's what makes people hostile, nasty, mean and combative, and it leads to feuds, wars and genocide. We'd better do something about that.

Much of what we call emotion is nothing more or less than a certain kind - a biased, prejudiced, or strongly evaluative kind - of thought.

So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities.

For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.

The world consists mainly of love slobs who need other people's approval. Most people don't live their own lives very well.

There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.

Whenever you avoid alarming situations, you almost always increase your anxiety about them.

Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs.

The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.

I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally, whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.

Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis.

People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has, and I hope that REBT teaches them how to do it.

The more sinful and guilty a person tends to feel, the less chance there is that he will be a happy, healthy, or law-abiding citizen. He will become a compulsive wrong-doer.

Rational beliefs bring us closer to getting good results in the real world.

The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.