Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
