Bernie Mac Quotes - Page 2

I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn't changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.

That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And is not afraid to fail.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

America...Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch...My James Brown.

Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, 'I'm like you - I'm frustrated, I'm not an expert, I don't have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I'm selfish too.'

People like rumors. They're going to say things like, 'You was at the club with Lil' Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.' You can't get upset. You've got to keep hope alive.

Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.

The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.

You're never going to see me playing a buffoon.

Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.

Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.

I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.

When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.

I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.

All you do as a performer is keep doing it. If you keep doing it, then it depends on why you're doing it. If you're doing something for superficial, monumental reasons and if you're doing it for female attention, or if you're doing it for money, it's like being upset. Only way you can get upset is when you expecting something. If you don't get this award or don't get that award, that because you expect something.

I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain't no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

When you're offstage, that's the footprint. That's the man God's gonna judge.

Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller.

It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.

I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.

I'm not a star, I hate that word, and I'm an entertainer. Stars fall, you know, I'm an entertainer. I want to be known as an entertainer.