Caitlin Moran Quotes - Page 5

You wanted to become a doctor to help people and feel better at the end of your job, I think, watching them, as the nurse takes my hand. But I don't think you do feel better at the end of the day. You look like humans have constantly disappointed you.

All art is someone trying to tell you something.

Nowadays, to be frank, every week is a good week for freakshow television. we might start asking, Why are there so many freaks? And why do they all want to be on television?

You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening.

...there is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, "You are a poo.

I’m going to lie this one right on the line, right here, right now: I’m pro big pants. Strident feminism NEEDS big pants. Really big. I’m currently wearing a pair that could have been used as a fire blanket to put out the Great Fire of London at any point during the first 48 hours or so. They extend from the top of my thigh to my belly button, and effectively double up as a second property that I can escape to at weekends. If I were going to run for parliament, it would be solely on a platform of ‘Get Women In Massive Grundie’s’.

A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution.

Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.

A majority of women's magazines feature women who do amazing things, but then the article focuses on how she ruined it with her shoes.

Who doesn't have a friend who worships her lover with a passion that seems baffling to everyone that knows them? Before you met him for the first time, she'd talked him up like he was a cross between Indiana Jones, Barack Obama and The Doctor. When you finally meet him, he's a quiet little thing who looks like a baked bean in glasses, and actually says 'harumph' as spelt.

Benedict Cumberbatch is very beautiful.

Feminism means something - legislation, cultural change - but 'Girl Power' meant nothing more than being friends with your friends.

When you've got a mother who's given birth to eight children, you know, often without any kind of medical intervention - just she gave birth to one of my brothers sort of on the bedroom floor in front of all of us -you know, you see that women are fairly capable.

Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.

I am not good at small talk. I will hide in a cupboard to avoid chitty-chat.

I am pathetically law-abiding.

I can't think of anything I hate more than a former punk - they are the most self-righteous people in the world.

I do not... look very feminine. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine... I am... femi-none.

I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy.

I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.

I love puffins. They are small, round gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings.

I loved Riot Grrl. Not only was it a punk rock revolution, but it meant you could get dressed for a night out for less than two pounds!

In the end I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper.

I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It's best to get rich, then you can do what you want.

Never love someone whom you think you need to mend – or who makes you feel like you should be mended. There are boys out there who look for shining girls; they will stand next to you and say quiet things in your ear that only you can hear and that will slowly drain the joy out of your heart. The books about vampires are true, baby. Drive a stake through their hearts and run away.