Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.
Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive
The best time is during the struggle. The top of the mountain is usually small, freezing and lonesome. To this day I'm continually reinvesting myself in something new. I'm not afraid to start as a beginner in anything.
When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.
The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!
I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.
We've all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time.
Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k. Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars.
I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five this year.
He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.
If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?
If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.
It dont matter WHAT your doin, ust as long as you LOOK GOOD doin it
When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it.
If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.
I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money.
Well a good writer writes, a good musician listens to a lot more than he actually composes, and if you're going to do lyrics - well, there's a Freudian slip. That's not even a slip, that's a Freudian move: I said going to do lyrics. If you really want it to ring true, you'll live it first. Go really get your heart broken!
Women are great. When they dig you, there's nothing they won't do. That kind of loyalty is hard to find - unless you've got a good dog.
The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.
The Breakfast of Champions isn't cereal, it's the competition!
I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success
My visions and fantasies are pretty standard. The only difference is I got to do it, while most of us haven't. Beyond that, I'm a pretty standard guy. Give me a gal with a sense of humor, acidic wit, who's read a few books and has a body like a Swedish speed skater, and I'm quite content.
For the last 30 years, I've been leading a life of crime and international intrigue that's involved 40 stamps in my passport, love affairs, and broken hearts to go with each one of them. You would have to live three lifetimes to catch up with just the allegations that follow me!
