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H. L. Mencken Quotes - Page 37

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The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits

The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits

Military, War, Party

H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.314, Knopf

In the United States...politics is purged of all menace, all sinister quality, all genuine significance, and stuffed with such gorgeous humors, such inordinate farce that one comes to the end of a campaign with one's ribs loose, and ready for King Lear, or a hanging, or a course of medical journals.

Kings, Political, Quality

A mood of constructive criticism being upon me, I propose forthwith that the method of choosing legislators now prevailing in the United States be abandoned and that the method used in choosing juries be substituted. That is to say, I propose that the men who make our laws be chosen by chance and against will of all the rest of us, as now.

Men, Law, Criticism

There are no institutions in America: there are only fashions.

Fashion, America, Institutions

H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.622, Vintage

Time is a great legalizer, even in the field of morals

Time, Justice, Fields

A Book of Prefaces ch. 4 (1917)

By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How is it possible for a human brain to be divided into two insulated halves, one functioning normally, naturally and even brilliantly, and the other capable only of such ghastly balderdash which issues from the minds of Baptist evangelists?

Believe, Men, Issues

The American Mercury, February 1926.

No politician is ever benefited by saving money; it is spending it that makes him.

Saving, Saving Money, Politician

H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.242, Knopf

When we appropriate money from the public funds to pay for vaccinating a horde of negroes, we do not do it because we have any sympathy for them or because we crave their blessings, but simply because we don't want them to be falling ill of smallpox

Sympathy, Fall, Blessing

H. L. Mencken (2003). “Philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche”, p.165, See Sharp Press

The most disgusting cad in the world is the man who on the grounds of decorum and morality avoids the game of love. He is one who puts his own ease and security above the most laudable of philanthropies.

Men, Games, Ease

H.L. Mencken (1920). “Prejudices Second Series”

At the end of one millennium and nine centuries of Christianity, it remains an unshakable assumption of the law in all Christian countries and of the moral judgement of Christians everywhere that if a man and a woman, entering a room together, close the door behind them, the man will come out sadder and the woman wiser.

Christian, Country, Men

H. L. Mencken (1924). “Prejudices Fourth Series”

He sailed through American history like a steel ship loaded with monoliths of granite.

Political, Steel, Politics

H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.227, Vintage

He slept more than any other president, whether by day or by night. Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.

Night, Political, President

'American Mercury' April 1933

I'm thoroughly convinced that editors don't help authors.

Editors, Helping, Convinced

What fetched me instantly (and thousands of other newcomers with me) was the subtle but unmistakable sense of escape from the United States.

San Francisco, United States, Subtle

The real man lies in the depths of subconscious.

Real, Lying, Men

H.L. Mencken (2012). “Mencken Chrestomathy”, p.453, Vintage

During many a single week, I daresay, more money is spent in New York upon useless and evil things than would suffice to run the kingdom of Denmark for a year.

Running, New York, Years

H. L. Mencken (1924). “Prejudices Fourth Series”

War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.

Sports, Peace, War

After all, the world is not our handiwork, and we are not responsible for what goes on in it, save within very narrow limits.

Responsibility, Goes On, World

H. L. Mencken (2009). “Prejudices: Third Series”, p.221, Cosimo, Inc.

The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers.

Competition, Television, Paper

The net effect of Clarence Darrow's great speech yesterday seemed to be precisely the same as if he had bawled it up a rainspout in the interior of Afghanistan.

Yesterday, Speech, Politics

[A formula for answering controversial letters -- without even reading the letters:] Dear Sir (or Madame): You may be right.

Reading, Letters, May

Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. Without the ameliorations that it offers, life would become a mere syllogism and hence too metallic to be borne.

Life, Success, Lying

H. L. Mencken (1924). “Prejudices Fourth Series”

The common man knows exactly what he wants...and deserves to get it good and hard.

Men, Want, Common

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

Trust, Husband, Stupid

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

Children, Years, Poet

H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.19, Knopf

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