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Harriet Lerner Quotes about Anger

All Harriet Lerner Quotes Anger quotes Anxiety Apology Challenges Children Choices Feelings Fighting Heart Honor Husband Intimacy Responsibility Silence
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.

Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.

Harriet Lerner
Life, Anger, Self
FaceBook post by Harriet Lerner from Mar 17, 2016

Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.

Harriet Lerner
Anger, Self, Problem
Harriet Lerner (2014). “The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships”, p.19, Harper Collins

Anger is neither legitimate nor illegitimate, meaningful nor pointless. Anger simply is. To ask, "Is my anger legitimate?" is similar to asking, "Do I have the right to be thirsty? After all, I just had a glass of water fifteen minutes ago. Surely my thirst is not legitimate. And besides, what's the point of getting thirsty when I can't get anything to drink now, anyway?" Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel--and certainly our anger is no exception.

Harriet Lerner
Meaningful, Anger, Glasses
FaceBook post by Harriet Lerner from Nov 23, 2015

Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.

Harriet Lerner
Anger, Listening, Anger Management
Harriet Lerner (2014). “The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships”, Harper Collins

Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others. . . .If, however, we do not use our anger to define ourselves clearly in every important relationship we are in--and manage our feelings as they arise--no one else will assume this responsibility for us.

Harriet Lerner
Anger, Responsibility, Self

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