John Hodgman Quotes - Page 4

Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That's like the worst thing you can do.

I am not an Internet superstar.

I have a lot of cultural references that have amassed in my brain like shrapnel over the years that are meaningful to me.

I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth.

It would be rather naive to imagine that Oprah doesn't have an Earth Evacuation Plan. You know Richard Branson does - his is in plain sight.

Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.

All books should be trilogies; I mean I think we all agree on that.

Writing for me always requires trickery. Tricking myself into sitting down, letting words tumble out until you find the good ones. It's sort of a trance. And when a piece is done, I have little memory of how I wrote it, and zero confidence I'd ever be able to do it again.

More people have more access to more readers for less money than ever before in history. It means a lot of dross; but it means a lot of very talented people can find and nurture a readership in ways that were not possible twenty years ago. From a creative perspective, that is all that writing is about.

As you know, the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

My memories of literary agenting are of a very happy time and there are surprising reminders of it coming back now.

It seems that every generation needs its public, tweedy, literary personality to sell its consumer electronics. To whatever degree I can live up to the Plimptonian legacy, I am humble and proud.

That which is hard to do is best done bitterly.

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.

Everything we make in life, eventually, is sold for a dollar or a penny or given away.

I think there are very few invisible musical instrument players out there who can claim the chops and sheer perseverance of Björn Türoque, the world's perennial second-place air guitar champion. Whoever this Dan Crane might be, he's captured the mad, seductive spirit of the arbitrary skill contest perfectly, and rocks it hard into the hot Finnish night. There is no number of umlauts that do this Jekyll and Hyde of air-rocking justice.

What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum! That's an amusing relic of our past.

The few people who ask to have their photographs with me, I almost always say yes, except for a few circumstances, like when my family is around.

When a good friend gives you his or her book, you don't want to read it, because you're afraid that it's not going be what you hope it can be.

Everyone wants to write a book. Very few people are able to do it.

What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her on the dollar pile. I won't mention any names, but it is this profoundly bittersweet time of realizing, "Oh, I had a wonderful time working on this book and now it is a dollar relic on the side of the road."

I had some very, very fond memories of the people I worked with and the authors I worked with - and I won't mention any names - but as I have been traveling through rural Maine over the past few weeks, one of my favorite things to do is to go into bookstores on the side of rural routes and paw through the old copies of Tom Clancy and Trevanian books they have in there for weird old 1970s thrillers that I haven't read yet.

Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and - I know I said this at the time but I still believe it - the worst job is the one that you know is wrong for you, but you still do it. You're afraid to quit.

I had the pleasure of listening to Rickie Lee Jones' Flying Cowboys album on audio cassette, which had just come out at that time because I am an elderly man.