If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'll tell you how I'd like to be remembered: As a black man who won the heavyweight title - Who has humorous and who never looked down on those who looked up to him - A man who stood for freedom, justice and equality - And I wouldn't even mind if folks forgot how pretty I was.
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.
It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple.
Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than humans.
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another.
A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.
If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting.
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
