Kathy Griffin Quotes - Page 2

Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

Why would you want to keep the bluebird houses mounted in a place that you now know is unsafe for them? Bluebirds are not ornaments for pictures, they are living things that deserve your best effort if you are going to be a landlord to them. There is no magic spell that will protect those bluebirds--they have to depend on you or they are doomed.

I am what you call a non-believer. I don't even want to say I'm an atheist because frankly I don't want to join their club either. But the point is, I am a fallen catholic, I'm not religious, and that's all well and good.

Always and Forever is a Grandmothers love

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

I'm basically always on tour.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.

I love to work. I love doing standup.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

I am in love with Larry David.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.