Kathy Griffin Quotes

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't ever say anything bad about the group I'm in, cause every group is untouchable.' We can all criticize each other and engage in debate all we want.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I have a no-apology policy.

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

Life is adventure. Travel is adventure at a different address.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

That's life when you're on the D-list.

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!

When I see you, I smile. When I touch you, I feel you. When I kiss you, I love you!

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or your ovaries. I am a big believer on breaking those rules. It's a case-by-case basis. But the thing is, there's so many ways to make a joke about something that is sort of maybe verboten or something.

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.