Kathy Griffin Quotes - Page 3

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.

The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

When my pals in high school were starting to drink, it always looked unappealing to me. I would be at a big party and see one of the popular girls or football players completely wasted and puking and acting a fool, and think to myself, there is nothing cool about that. I never wanted to be that out of control.

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

I love doing [stand-up]. I love making people laugh no matter how. Whether it's a commercial, or a TV show, or a reality show, or a talk show, or a special, or a book. However I can make people laugh, that's what I want to do.

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material.

My act is based on my life.

When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.

No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much?

Phoenix is great. I love Phoenix, .. I love Scottsdale. I love the James Hotel. I have a Kathy Griffin suite. I love -what's that place called? AZ 88. I had never had a cheese crisp, so I went to - oh, can't remember. We went to the State Fair, where I was all about the deep-fried Twinkie. I ate every deep-fried thing - oh, it was heavenly. I ate until I got sick.

If there is a gay army, I am their warrior princess.

Most people unfamiliar with the men in a new town might search for love until they find it. I picked out some guy on my second day in LA, who worked at the local bicycle shop, and handed my virginity to him. “You can fill a tire? Sounds good to me. Let's call it a date.” Needless to say he wasn't Mr. Right.

Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

I'm saying that she (Whitney Houston) looks great for a singer... the way Courtney Love is a singer.

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!