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Paul Reiser Quotes - Page 4

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By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle

By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.

Paul Reiser
Stupid, Names, Doe

Why do you think people close their eyes when they kiss? Think about it. In the real world, if you saw someone an-inch-and-a-half away, coming at you with their eyes open and their lips puckered, you'd scream. It's alarming.

Paul Reiser
Real, Eye, Kissing
Paul Reiser (2011). “Couplehood”, p.277, Bantam

That's the nice thing about doing stand-up. There's no development, you just go out there and get an immediate response as to whether something is good or bad. Getting a laugh is the best measure of how well you're doing.

Paul Reiser
Nice, Laughing, Development

When you realize you would consider not having a child just so you could take an occasional snooze and be available to see Batman Retires the same weekend it comes out, you have to take a good hard look at yourself and acknowledge, I am a shallow, shallow person.

Paul Reiser
Children, Weekend, Shallow Person
Paul Reiser (2012). “Babyhood”, p.12, Harper Collins

New parents always sound like hucksters in a pyramid scheme. Anyone who has kids and then gets you to go and have kids gets a check from Huckster Headquarters.

Paul Reiser
Kids, Pyramid Schemes, Pyramids
Paul Reiser (2012). “Babyhood”, p.18, Harper Collins

When you get busy, the priorities change. In your twenties, you hang out with who you were in school with. Then you grow up and you hang out with the people you're playing ball with, things you like doing with. When you get married, it changes a bit and you lose some friends, or you gain other friends. You gain couple-y friends. It changes again when you have children, and then when your children are the focus of your life.

Paul Reiser
Children, Growing Up, School
Source: tv.avclub.com

In traditional TV, it's very hard to have the luxury of banking all your scripts and getting everything in a row, but it does make it very easy, and it's very productive and beneficial and you learn as you're going.

Paul Reiser
Easy, Productive
Source: tv.avclub.com

You know what? The obvious is obvious for a reason.

Paul Reiser
Reason, Obvious, Knows
Source: www.ew.com

It was trying to make my tennis game look mildly respectable, which I found you don't even really need to practice if you have a really good editor. They can edit it and you're like, "Hey, it looks like I'm playing really well." That was the fun part, but it was like going to summer camp.

Paul Reiser
Summer, Fun, Practice
Source: www.avclub.com

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