I think my initial desire to start making art came from a desire and a need to communicate but not having anyone to communicate to.
I didn't feel like I belonged with my mom. And I didn't feel like I belonged with my dad. Since they were separated, I kind of felt like I didn't belong anywhere. So my grandparents gave me that stability, gave me the feeling like I had something and I came from some place.
Nature is so huge. I mean, you can't even look one way! Everything is huge. That was my natural instinct, to create huge art, to create huge pieces. And to me, I still could create bigger works. The opportunity doesn't come along to do anything any bigger. So I've worked as big as I've had the opportunity to work, basically.
The fifties were pretty rebellious, a pretty rebellious period, around that time. And it was preceding the whole zoot suit thing which I think really contributed to a lot of anxiety, to a lot of frustration, a lot of blaming. And it just like boom, it was very destructive for us as a people, that right away put us on like we had to defend ourselves on every level, every moment. We seemed like we always had to be on guard.
My uncles represented a strength and a power I think that to a certain degree I looked up to. But from another perspective, I had really no artist role models to fall under. No guidance in terms of intellect. In terms of not having to relate to a physical persona to get through. I wanted to relate, combine the physical personal, combine the machismo with intellect, with intelligence, with craftsmanship, with creating works that people would just look at and their jaws would just drop open, and "Wow! This is like incredible work!"
Learning how to shine a pair of shoes to me was like if you could do, you were like you were on your way to having abilities and skills as to be able to spit-shine a pair of shoes like they're patent leather. You're a bad dude. To spit-shine a pair of shoes. So, even to that small detail, that aided me and assisted me in becoming the artist that I am. My uncles' sense of style, their type of ties they used. The way they wore their suits, big and huge and baggy. The way they did their haircuts with the side burns. All of that.
Where my earlier works, what sets them apart is that I didn't need approval and I didn't need permission from anyone because I wasn't being paid. So, to me, I was allowed the freedom, the total freedom to just communicate how I wanted to communicate and my whole level of perspective was to communicate to the barrios, communicate to the gangs and communicate to the people that frequent the thoroughfares that were populated by these gangs and by this life style.
