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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

Ambrose Bierce
Funny, Music, Keys
Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.224, ReadHowYouWant.com
PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.