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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

All Quotes Accidents Adversity Affection Age Aging Alcohol Army Art Assumption Atheism Attitude Authority Beauty Belief Boundaries Business Certainty Change Character Cheating Childhood Children Choices Church Clarinet Confusion Cooking Country Creation Critics Culture Cynicism Death Democracy Desire Devil Diplomacy Disappointment Doubt Drinking Dying Earth Education Ego Energy Envy Eternity Evidence Evil Excellence Expectations Failure Faith Fame Family Fashion Fear Feelings Finance Food Friendship Funeral Funny Future Genius Giving God Gold Growth Guilt Happiness Hatred Heart Heaven Hell History Home Honor Hope House Ignorance Imagination Independence Injustice Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Joy Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Latin Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Literature Logic Losing Love Lying Marriage Math Military Money Morality Motherhood Music Nature Nihilism Office Opportunity Optimism Passion Past Patriotism Peace Philosophy Pleasure Politics Power Prejudice Preparation Pride Property Prosperity Purpose Quality Reality Religion Responsibility Revenge Revolution Running Sacrifice School Science Silence Sin Skins Son Soul Spirituality Spring Stupidity Style Success Suffering Taxes Temptation Theology Time Truth Understanding Violence Virtue Wall War Water Wealth Wife Wine Wisdom Work Worship Writing Youth

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

Gun, Lunch, Democracies Have

God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.

Past, History, Historian

MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

Food, Cooking, Body

Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.720, Library of America

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

Learning, Science, Old Things

“FBI revisiting Clinton emails just latest in long history of 'October Surprises“ by Chad Pergram, www.foxnews.com. October 29, 2016.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Inspirational, Cute, Sad

Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

Powerful, Hatred, Tribes

Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.128, ReadHowYouWant.com

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Political Will, Greed, Nerd

Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.271, ReadHowYouWant.com

An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

Deception, Auctions, Election

Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

Doubt, Lasts, Frontiers

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

Funny, Peace, Military

self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

Self Esteem, Ego, Appraisal

Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect — don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Hurt, Believe, Play

Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi (2000). “The Collected Fables of Ambrose Bierce”, p.15, Ohio State University Press

A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

Law, People, Claims

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2272, Delphi Classics

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Belief, Opinion, Absurdity

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.7, 谷月社

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Funny, Dog, Humor

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.13, University of Georgia Press

LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

Nature, Support, Important

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.68, Courier Corporation

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Inspirational, Money, Math

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

Heaven, Wicked, Attention

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.50, Courier Corporation

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Evil, Political, Wish

Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 56

Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command

Maturity, Celebrate, Ceremony

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

Government, Democracy, Boxes

For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.

Men, Vocabulary, Names

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.87, Courier Corporation

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

Money, Blessing, Wealth

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.146, 谷月社

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Inspirational, Graduation, Sports

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.10, University of Georgia Press

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

Truth, Common Sense, Utterance

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.90, University of Georgia Press

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