i'm a perfectionist, so i'm never satisfied with myself. i've always been psychotic about that kind of stuff--in a good way. i'm very disciplined. like the food and the whole thing, i'm always looking to "how can i eventually just turn into a ball of light and fly off the planet?". until that happens and God basically pull the blinds back, i will not be satisfied... if i found out that if i ate pine nuts for the next month i could see God, i'd be eating pine nuts.