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I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, "Here's what I would say. Here's what I would do if I got up there." It drives me crazy.

"Anthony Jeselnik on roasting, ripping off Jack Handey, and giving the devil his own TV show". Interview with Nathan Rabin, www.avclub.com. March 12, 2013.
I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, Here's what I would say. Here's what I would do if I got up there. It drives me crazy.