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Plays, gentlemen, are to their authors what children are to women: they cost more pain than they give pleasure.

Pierre Beaumarchais
Children, Pain, Play
Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, Eugène Labiche, Georges Courteline (pseud.) (1975). “Three popular French comedies”, Frederick Ungar
Plays, gentlemen, are to their authors what children are to women: they cost more pain than they give pleasure.