Golf Quotes - Page 29

A writer from ESPN magazine once described me as the world's largest eleven-year-old. That's true. I ride my Sea-Doo jet ski, play putt-putt golf, go to water parks, and act silly. On the bottom floor of my house in Beverly Hills, I have video games, a pool table, a Pepsi machine, and all the things they have in arcades. I drive go-karts, at least the ones I can fit in. I karate-chop my friends when they come over, like the Kato dude in the Pink Panther movies.

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone.

When people discover they are no good at baseball or hockey, they put away their bats and their skates and they take up amateur golf or stamp collecting or gardening. But when people discover they are no good at picking stocks, they are likely to continue to do it anyway.

With the goal of crafting a course that fits harmoniously with its surroundings, we took full advantage of the dramatic vistas, indigenous flora and beautiful rolling terrain to create a memorable golf experience for members and resort guests.

I've been writing a lot, I've a few projects I'm trying to finance, I do some acting, I do some directing... Apart from that, if I could get lower than a 10 handicap on my golf game, I'd be thrilled.

Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.

A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do.

Faith sir! She looks like the Old Course.

My game is like a cross between karaoke and rap: crap.

When I play my best golf, I feel as if I'm in a fog, standing back watching the earth in orbit with a golf club in my hands.

Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows that he would rather play golf than have sex any day.

One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

Golf is a stupid game. You tee up this little ball, really this tiny ball. Then you hit it, try to find it, hit it. And the goal is to get it into a little hole placed in a hard spot.

Every day I try to tell myself that this is going to be fun today. I try to put myself in a great frame of mind before I go out - then I screw it up with the first shot.

Show me a man with a great golf game, and I’ll show you a man who has been neglecting something.

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

I do a lot of running, and I do it every day. I run on a track, I run hills and I work the stair-stepper extremely hard. I do some type of cardio every day. In addition, I have a passion for golf, and that helps me stay fit, too.

A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.

I have a couple [of grandsons] that are in college playing lacrosse. It's great and it's fun. But they all also play golf a little bit.

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

I never went into a tournament or round of golf thinking I had to beat a certain player. I had to beat the golf course. If I prepared myself for a major, went in focused, and then beat the golf course, the rest took care of itself.