Top Gear Quotes

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?

Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'

Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's not being noticed.

Getting an award on Top Gear is better than getting a Grammy.