If we have George W. Bush as president, we're going to go back to the kind of policies we had when his father and Ronald Reagan were president.
Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.
I also focus on Bush and his administration - who do a lot of lying - and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn't be able to get away with.
I am a Minnesotan, and not just because I root for the Vikings and the Twins. I like the Minnesota-nice sensibility. I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
I don't consider myself an artist necessarily, but craftsmen or people in the arts, their spiritualism is sort of when you're writing well or performing well or doing whatever you do well, there's an element of that that's either God-given, a talent that you're not necessarily responsible for.
I don't think I'm an angry person. I think I'm a person who's angry. I'm angry at the Bush administration; I'm angry at the right wing media. And by that I don't mean the media is right wing. I mean, there is a part of the media that's not the mainstream media. That's Fox, that is 'The Wall Street Journal' editorial page.
I've spent my entire career being a satirist.
I know that it's probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician. This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw 'The Killing Fields,' and I've got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.
When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.
There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
My dad was a terrible businessman.
Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.
Let's not let the government sell us out. Let's fight for net neutrality.
No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.
Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.
Teen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations.
I'm the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.
Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
Some of George W. Bush's friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial. But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. 'That worked for everyone else,' God said.
What you see on the campaign trail is me. It's easy being me.
