Authors:

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 17

All Quotes Accidents Adversity Affection Age Aging Alcohol Army Art Assumption Atheism Attitude Authority Beauty Belief Boundaries Business Certainty Change Character Cheating Childhood Children Choices Church Clarinet Confusion Cooking Country Creation Critics Culture Cynicism Death Democracy Desire Devil Diplomacy Disappointment Doubt Drinking Dying Earth Education Ego Energy Envy Eternity Evidence Evil Excellence Expectations Failure Faith Fame Family Fashion Fear Feelings Finance Food Friendship Funeral Funny Future Genius Giving God Gold Growth Guilt Happiness Hatred Heart Heaven Hell History Home Honor Hope House Ignorance Imagination Independence Injustice Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Joy Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Latin Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Literature Logic Losing Love Lying Marriage Math Military Money Morality Motherhood Music Nature Nihilism Office Opportunity Optimism Passion Past Patriotism Peace Philosophy Pleasure Politics Power Prejudice Preparation Pride Property Prosperity Purpose Quality Reality Religion Responsibility Revenge Revolution Running Sacrifice School Science Silence Sin Skins Son Soul Spirituality Spring Stupidity Style Success Suffering Taxes Temptation Theology Time Truth Understanding Violence Virtue Wall War Water Wealth Wife Wine Wisdom Work Worship Writing Youth

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

Science, Giving, Fool

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2492, Delphi Classics

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.

Unexpected, Persons, Beneficial

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.172, 谷月社

San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen

San Francisco, People, Lasts

ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.

Envy, Malice

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.117, University of Georgia Press

JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

Kings, Utterance, Amusement

PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

Views, Editors, Feet

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.180, University of Georgia Press

DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.

Family, Faith, Daughter

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.43, 谷月社

Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

Inspirational, Commodity, Neighbor

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2374, Delphi Classics

PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.

Confused, Differences, Confusion

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.186, University of Georgia Press

REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.

Hands, Action, Propensity

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.176, 谷月社

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Baby, Holy Water, Caverns

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.26, University of Georgia Press

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Life, God, Christian

Ambrose Bierce (2007). “Essential Bierce: A Selection of the Writings of Ambrose Bierce”, Heyday Books

MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

Love, Mercy, Attributes

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.

Book, Ignorance, Knowledge

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.

Independent, Men, Average

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.3, 谷月社

OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

Confusion, Confusing, Mind

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.177, University of Georgia Press

FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

Horse, Cat, Tails

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.66, 谷月社

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

Leadership, School, Nihilist

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.149, 谷月社

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

Eggs, Giving, Sacred

Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.328, ReadHowYouWant.com

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

Science, Students, Medical

The Devil's Dictionary

PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.

Gentleman, Church, Palaces

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.171, 谷月社

TECHNICALITY, n. In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.

Taken, Home, Men

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

Success, Failure, Government

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2436, Delphi Classics

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

Science, Arsenic, Cosmetics

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2357, Delphi Classics

CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

Dog, Doe, Watches

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.29, 谷月社

You May Also Like: